I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Randomize
