That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I think I sprained my soul last night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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