He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
