Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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