I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let's get the cat blown out
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
