is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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