Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
