Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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