The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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