Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
