I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
