dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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