Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Randomize
