Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
