Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
