wat bout pragnant strippers??
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
