do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize