Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
