you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
