That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Two words: nipple clamps
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