On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
