When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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