I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
