Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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