You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
only you would photoshop your dick
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
