You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
