ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
