ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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