I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
