what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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