Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize