Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize