Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
well you can't waste a boner
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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