the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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