quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
