I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
