She's JV to your varsity
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
