dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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