how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
