Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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