Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize