the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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