Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
