You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
