peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
