everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
