Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize