Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
