Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
