brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
The adults are the big ones right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
