i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
