I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
