Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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