Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
